so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
