i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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