So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
