what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
