She is in my trunk
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
