Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
