I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
