He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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