Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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