the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
