maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Fuck appropriateness.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
