there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
