Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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