My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
