He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
