Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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