I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
