When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
