You're so nebulous sometimes
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
