You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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