Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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