My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
