White coat. Heels.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
