tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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