on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
