if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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