Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
