Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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