Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
