TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
