Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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