I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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