More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize