i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
