you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
