Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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