belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
