You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
