You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
