you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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