College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
