I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
