if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
