Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
not ubering you a puppy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
