She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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