at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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