Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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