My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
