on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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