Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
