Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
