i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
