fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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