he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
